Hi everyone. My name is James, and my daddy gave me four different remote controls to try. Here’s what I thought.
SKY Q – I instantly realised that this was most definitely a premium remote. The plastic had very satisfying undertones of my brother’s Toot Toot Drivers set. The only downside was that the voice recognition button is too easy to activate by accident. It kept interpreting ‘gaggggooochach’ as ‘Essex 60+ Wives’ on channel 907 and completely ruined Something Special for me. SCORE: 8/10
SAMSUNG – I could definitely tell that this was manufactured by the South Korean electronics giant – it had a very similar taste to the Galaxy S9 that I threw down the toilet last week. All in all, a fine teething accessory. SCORE: 9/10
SONY – This DVD remote is usually a home banker as nobody has actually watched a DVD in this country since Netflix came along and royally rogered Blockbuster. It has a very pleasing and subtle hint of wasabi to it, but it took four days to dry out when I vommed Aptamil all over it a few days ago. SCORE: 6/10
RANDOM ALL-IN-ONE FROM POUNDLAND – Considering that this was made in Myanmar, a country not renowned for tasty remotes, it’s definitely worth the money. I’m not sure that it will hold up when the incisors are fully through as it is already creaking a bit, but my daddy will insist upon buying this crap for the sake of it. SCORE 5/10
Now, I’m off to cleanse my palette on a MacBook …