The Mail wrote a horrible headline attacking working mums, so I rewrote it for them

You may have already seen today’s Mail On Sunday with the hilariously misleading headline ‘Scientists blame working mothers for Britain’s childhood obesity epidemic after study of 20,000 families.’ The only problem is that it’s bollocks. 

I won’t link to the article here as you will probably also be subjected to a related link about why bendy bananas will effectively make buses run on time once we leave the EU without a deal Mrs May, but you can find it on Google or whatever.

The story itself ACTUALLY says:

‘A new study done by University College London found that the children of single mothers working full-time were 25 per cent more likely to be overweight compared to children with stay-at-home mothers.’

Therefore, ‘blame’ is just a teeny, tiny, ickle-bickle stretch from the Mail On Sunday, and so I would like to take this opportunity to rewrite it for them. Hopefully they will see these suggestions and pick out their favourite.

Scientists reveal that children with working mothers are significantly more likely to be overweight

Maybe uncomfortable reading, but at least it doesn’t put sensationalist words into the scientists’ mouths.

Now that International Women’s Day is over for another year, let’s make working mums feel like shit again

All of that ‘respecting women’ must have been making the ‘Heil’ editors die inside, so this would have redressed the balance a little.

Corbyn blasted for inaction over working mums and their role in the childhood obesity epidemic

As it happens, their ‘journalist’ has obtained a photo of Jezza sharing a platform with childhood obesity in 1992. The bastard. Five bonus points for Diane Abbott being involved as well, even though neither of them are actually in government yet.

Working mothers blame government for creating a fucking shitshow of a situation where they literally cannot afford to stay at home like our 1950’s style ‘wet dream’ where the working husband is met at the door every night with his slippers and a Dry Martini and mother only speaks when she is spoken to and makes herself look all pretty once she has put the kids to bed and prepared a brisket

Let’s face it. The Mail would support The Tories even if the entire cabinet were filmed eating live puppies in the middle of Westminster Green. Nope. Nothing to see here.

Mums really are screwed both ways, aren’t they? Stay at home and you are perpetuating a stereotype that a woman’s place is in the home. Go out and work and you are turning your kids into lardarses. What a load of shit.

It’s not like working dads are to blame as well, right?