This is why I am angry about teachers confiscating my child’s lunchbox sweets today

Thousands of parents have had the dreaded ‘lunchbox note’ home from school, so I imagined what it might look like in five or ten years’ time. 

To be fair, they could all be true, it’s just that schools might only have the balls to admit the first three.

The punishment at the end may sound severe, but it’s for your own good.

While we’re all here, don’t forget about the PTA’s Cake Sale next week, along with the PTA’s Easter Egg Hunt, the PTA’s Tuck Shop and another very special event where the PTA will just take your children and intravenously give them enough sugar to keep a Blue Whale awake until Christmas 2023.

But that’s absolutely fine because the school needs new iPads.